suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
