Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
