DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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