so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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