Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
