So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
