lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
