dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
