I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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