A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
