In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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