Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
