Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
