and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
