If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
