Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
