So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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