he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
