Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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