I will die if light touches me.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
