even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
