she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
