i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
