I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
