Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
