First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
