Dual....:-)
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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