I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
