girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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