i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
