how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
