Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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