yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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