Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
