god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have feelings that need drinking.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
