I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
