READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
