Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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