i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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