i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
