it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
