its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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