Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
