That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
