me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
