Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
