Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
