Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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