I love black thongs
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
