Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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