this beer tastes like vomit already
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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