soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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