You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
