I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
